Stop Weaponizing Your Workload

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Congratulations.

You’ve made it to the hallowed halls of middle management. You’ve survived the junior grind, mastered the delicate art of saying “I have some thoughts” in meetings, and learned—hopefully—that feedback is not an act of war.

You take initiative. You lead projects. You colour-code your life in spreadsheets so complex they should come with a user manual and possibly a safety disclaimer.

And yet—somehow—you’re drowning.

Not in incompetence. You’re sharp, capable, and more often than not, right.

You’re drowning in something far more tragic: good intentions mixed with questionable time management, topped with the quiet conviction that everyone else—especially your leader—is the real problem.

Let’s pick this apart.

Initiative Isn’t the Same as Prioritization

Taking initiative is great.

It shows you care. It shows you think ahead.

It also means you might be knee-deep in four low-impact passion projects while ignoring the high-impact, flaming dumpster fire in your inbox—the one your boss actually asked you to put out.

Sure, building dashboards that converse in three languages and spit out performance haikus might be your idea of a good Tuesday. But that doesn’t make it today’s top priority.

Sometimes your creative output is genius. Other times? It’s just very pretty procrastination.

Your Boss Still Can’t Read Minds (Shocking, I Know)

If you’re getting peppered with tasks, requests, and “urgent” must-dos from all corners—welcome to leadership. That’s the gig.

But here’s the real question: does your boss actually know what you’re buried in?

If you haven’t told them—clearly, calmly, with an actual list—then they can’t help you prioritise, reassign, or park things. They can’t stop you from burning out if they don’t even know you’re on fire.

And no, sighing dramatically in a meeting doesn’t count as communication. Neither does the “exhausted but noble” martyr face during status updates. Or a "quick update" with the group in language that you understand, that others may not. You want help? Ask for it, and YES - it is part of your job to ensure your boss knows what you're working on at all times.  That's also part of the gig. 

When Frustration Turns Passive-Aggressive

Sometimes you snap.

Not by throwing your laptop—but in quieter ways. Sarcasm that falls flat. A clipped tone with your boss. Sideways comments about how “they just don’t get it.”

Here’s the thing: maybe they do get it. They just also have 14 other people like you, 27 priorities from above, and a fire drill or two before lunch.

So when they show up with a metaphorical bucket and you meet them with a passive-aggressive shrug? You’ve just turned the one person trying to help into part of the problem.

Now it’s a coaching moment. A tension point. A choice between supporting you or walking on eggshells around you next time.

That’s not teamwork. That’s emotional outsourcing.

If your leader is generally decent—not a micromanaging tyrant—then maybe your tone isn’t justified. Frustration is fine. Weaponising it against the person on your side? That’s on you.

The Self-Inflicted Wound of “Doing It All”

Let’s be honest.

You say yes too much. You want to impress. You love being the go-to.

Until your calendar becomes a cautionary tale and you’re emotionally flammable by 3 p.m.

Now you’re cranky and starting to label your leader’s boundaries as “unsupportive.” Except it’s not that they don’t care—it’s that they do, and they’re trying to stop you from setting yourself (and the team) ablaze.

When You Confuse Vulnerability with Delegation

If your leader isn’t as technical as you, it’s tempting to think they should match your spreadsheet sorcery or API acrobatics.

Reality check: just because they don’t speak fluent macro doesn’t make them less effective.

If they’ve openly said you’re more advanced in that area—and they value it—that’s not laziness. That’s vulnerability. That’s a leader who isn’t pretending to be the smartest in the room.

Instead of resenting it, maybe appreciate that they know when to get out of your way and let you shine.

So, What Now?

Here’s the grown-up part:

• Know your real priorities—the ones that move the needle, not just the ones you like doing.

• Tell your boss what’s on your plate. You’re not a surprise party.

• Accept that not everything needs a diagram, especially when the outcome is an aligned solution. 

• Stop using the one person who’s helping as a stand-in for your therapist.

Golden Nugget (Because There’s Always One)

Initiative is a gift. But without clarity, boundaries, and a touch of self-awareness, it’s the very thing that burns you out—and alienates the leaders who were rooting for you all along.

If your boss isn’t actually shitty, maybe don’t treat them like they are.

Take the compliment. Take the feedback. Take a breath.

Then lead like the damn capable human you are. Full communication and sharing your knowledge and powers for good.